toliver: (Default)
[personal profile] toliver
I once thought they were the ones whose lives went from A to Z without any hitches. That was the way it was supposed to be, wasn't it, for good people? That was the bargain with your gods or maybe Life. You did what you were supposed to do, you were nice and, in return, life rolled along merrily.

Until it didn't.

I've thought about this a lot as I've seen lives crash into terrible rocks and come apart no matter what the person does. Some people see disaster coming and flail around trying to change course. All they seem to do is delay the inevitable. There is no more desperate feeling than seeing the life you are living (and loving) sweeping toward disaster. Through no fault of your own, too. It is forced on you, as often as not.

This happened to me.

I waited for someone or something to swoop in to save me. It didn't happen. Nothing I did to save my old life worked. The old life was swept away. For a while I flipped flopped around in desperation - survival instincts are strong - trying anything offered until I found the right path for me. It wasn't easy, in fact it was really, truly hard especially since I had dependents of the human and animal kind. But somehow out of that came a new direction, a new life that suited me well enough.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the old life now and again even with a life that is good if different from what I expected. I don't miss the naive person I was and that growth, well, maybe that makes me one of the Lucky Ones after all.

(no subject)

4/5/16 19:22 (UTC)
thaccian: Lillian Gish Photoplay mag cover (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] thaccian
I have been wrecked upon the rocks of unforeseen life changes a few times myself. Sometimes the damage was relatively minor and required only a bit of course correction, and more recently it was the sort of wholesale upending you mention. It is a little bittersweet watching a old life disappear, but I also sort of liked the process of change once I was well and truly into it. Being unmoored for a time (3 years in my case) turned out to be freeing in a number of surprising, unexpected ways.

Profile

toliver: (Default)
toliver

May 2016

S M T W T F S
123 4567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Page Summary

Page generated 28/7/17 16:52

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags